I feel like I’ve been thrown in the deep end of a pool and I don’t know how to swim.
I am really struggling at the moment. Everything is going pretty horrendously, and I just don’t know how to cope. I’m not making this post for attention, or a cry for help. I just need to let my emotions out. College work is a lot, I know I don’t have long to go but its just getting more and more intense as we head into exam season. I’ve been struggling with a breakup, and also dealing with bitchiness.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the subjects I take at college. Just the workload I dislike haha. I have a big piece of media studies coursework to get done, and an exam piece for my photography. So basically, a lot of practical work needs to be done. I enjoy making/doing it all, its just a lot. It doesn’t help my anxiety, but soon it’ll be over I guess. If anyone has any tips on how they deal with a heavy workload, I dunno I just feel like I need some support.
Secondly, a breakup. Something I have never had to go through before, and something I wish nobody has to go through. Although, unfortunately I guess it is part of life. I found a quote that I feel sums up how I feel quite well, ‘I won’t glorify or romanticize heartbreak, for me it was a kind of death and I was forced to keep living’. It does sound quite depressing, I’ll be honest but its definitely the sort of thing I’ve been feeling. Being alone is quite difficult, especially when you’re not used to it. I just feel hurt all of the time, its just like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. I guess I should stop rambling on about it now, but I’ve needed to get this off my chest so bad.
And finally, friendships. Friendships come and go throughout your life, and I sure have learnt that throughout my time at school. Theres been a lot of bitchiness around me recently, and I don’t like it. I haven”t experienced it for a long time, but I forgot how nasty people can be. Its good that I know who my true friends are at least, and I’ll (hopefully) be off to uni in September, where I can meet new people. I’m really looking forward to that at least.
I’m sorry for another rambly/sad post, I didn’t intend to do this really but I just had to get my emotions out. I suppose time heals a lot, but for now I’m struggling to cope.